Where Do We Go From Here?
with voices from the sex outside community
Buckle up— we’re back. And in light of the recent election results, which impact so many in our community, we’re spending this episode diving into the complex emotions and difficult decisions so many of us are facing right now— because we need community more than ever.
From concerns about reproductive rights and bodily autonomy to navigating the tough choice of whether to plan our marriages or birth control procedures before the new administration takes office, the voices of snowboarding instructors, outdoor professionals, and advocates speak openly about the fear and grief surrounding these critical (and scary) impending political shifts.
Whether it’s hiking on Inauguration Day to build bonds in the face of uncertainty, running to raise money for abortion funds, or simply ensuring their community feels safe outdoors, this episode offers real, raw reflections on how to stay hopeful—and active—amid ongoing challenges.
Featured in this Episode:
Let’s be friends:
We’re getting weird (and real) on social media:
Sex Outside Instagram: @sexoutside
Sex Ed With Laura: @sexedwithlaura
Support sex education:
Leave the Sex Outside podcast a 5-star review in Apple Podcasts or the app of your choosing!
Additional Resources:
Hosted and produced by Laura Borichevsky.
Music by The Wild Wild, UTAH, and modl.
TRANSCRIPT
Note: This transcript was AI-generated and lightly edited by a human. As such it may contain spelling errors.
Laura Borichevsky:
Looking for outdoor gear that works as hard as you do? Gnara Apparel has got you covered—literally! Gnara is on a mission to get more people outside in healthy, safe, and sustainable ways that inspire joy. Their patented GoFly pee zipper is a game-changer, making bathroom breaks a breeze, not to mention their use of 4-way stretch and water-repellent fabric.
Whether you're hiking, skiing, or just enjoying the outdoors, Gnara’s pants, overalls, leggings, and shorts are designed to keep you comfortable and confident. I’m also a huge fan of their “Pee Outside” hat.
To support a woman-owned business this season AND save 15% for being a listener, shop Gnara Apparel at gnara.com/sexedwithlaura or use code SEXEDWITHLAURA at check out for 15% off select products. That’s G-N-A-R-A dot com slash sexedwithlaura.
[music]
Hey all-- it’s Laura. And yes, it’s been quite a while since we’ve had an episode of Sex Outside. There’s an awful lot to catch up on, where we’ve been for so long, and why– but this episode is going to be a whole lot more about *us* as a community than about me or Sex Outside. (There will be time to get to all of that later.) So for now, just know that because of folks like you, we’re back. And we’re looking forward to monthly episodes of Sex Outside moving forward… plus a few extras along the way.
Also, a heads up that this episode covers a wide range of topics including sexual violence, abortion, miscarriage, and other aspects of post-election trauma. Okay, here’s the show.
[music]
uh, testing, testing, all right.
Sometimes, it can be hard to get started again. Picking back up and realizing that what used to feel routine, even an extension of you, is out of practice. You might have had this experience in the outdoors, like forgetting how to tie a specific knot when boating or climbing– or realizing that you didn’t pack your gloves for your first day back on the mountain after a long summer off. There’s an awkwardness, a clunkiness, and sometimes moments of self-consciousness as you try to put all the pieces back together and figure out where you go next.
In the simplest of terms, the last couple of years have, in many ways, felt like one long summer off from the podcast– and in time we’ll get to what’s kept things on pause. But the feeling of coming back, and the purpose behind this community, well– it’s never felt clearer. Because we need community now more than ever.
Before this show took a hiatus, access to reproductive rights were more accessible than they are now. Queer couples in the US weren’t concerned about whether their marriage would suddenly become invalidated by the government. Comprehensive sex education, though still not available everywhere, wasn’t in danger of being banned from public schools. And in many ways, a second Trump presidency felt like an extremely unlikely potential, if not a complete joke. But in a number of weeks, Donald Trump will become US president again, and both experts and non-experts alike say there’s a lot more that seems to be hanging in the balance this time around. I’ll be honest– this shit is scary. But where it can be easy to feel alone, it’s critical to remember that our communities are everything, and it’s from those places of connection, validation, and support that we find what we need– both tangibly and intangibly– to figure out our next steps.
And because of that, I knew I was going to need a little help with this episode.
We asked the Sex Outside community to submit voice memos over the past 2 weeks to share your greatest concerns, your biggest questions, and your offerings during this time– because we aren’t going to get through this without each other, and as we pick this show back up from a long time away, especially during a time of such uncertainty, it only felt right to remind ourselves of the community that already exists right here. Because as you’ll hear on this episode, we may *not* have it all figured out just yet. But the way we’ll figure it out– is together.
So, welcome back. I’m Laura Borichevsky, and this is Sex Outside.
Britany Greenwalt:
When we woke up on the morning of November 6, we were not prepared when we finally got the courage to look to see the results. Usually were the nerds up all night with popcorn watching the election results, but our anxiety was too high on election night, and we decided to go to bed when we saw the results. It felt like we had been hit with a ton of bricks. Suddenly, all the things that we'd been working for for years seemed very fragile.
Laura Borichevsky:
That’s Brittany Greenwalt, founder of The 11th Essential. And even thousands of miles away, I can totally relate to what she’s saying. While headlines and polls and political leaders warned for months that this election was going to be tight– the swiftness of the results, and the impending backlash of hate so many recall from the last Trump win in 2016, stung a bit harder the second time around. And while there is a LOT to potentially unpack about the how’s and why’s of it all– which I’m going to leave for your favorite political podcasts or news sources to dissect– the feeling of heavy, justifiable grief was a pretty common thread running through that day.
But just outside our door, we can also see how grief takes action, like it did for Julianne Mahoney on a snowy trail run.
Julianne Mahoney:
I don't fucking want to be out here right now. I want to be sobbing like I was all morning. I went to a social marathon in 10 days, and last year, less than a third of the runners were women. I'm so full of grief and anger and fear, and I don't know what else to do except keep on running. So I figured while I'm out here, might as well be running for something. My race is in Moab, Utah, so we're raising money for the Utah Abortion Fund. Even if you only have $1.50 maybe $50 one for each mile I'm running. Let's help Utah women access the care they need. I'm gonna go cry and scream for six more miles, and I'm gonna go find the most hot pink outfit I possibly can run in and keep on training for this race. Please donate for Utah abortion rights.
Laura Borichevsky:
By the way, Julianne just completed her first ultra last week. AND she raised over $2k for Utah Abortion Fund in the process– which just goes to show that we can be sad, and angry, and grieving… and show up anyway. In fact, it can be part of the fuel we use to keep momentum.
Since Julianna mentioned it, abortions were a huge focus of this election. And with the results weighted so heavily in favor of those who want to limit access to these essential services, experts are somewhat holding their breath waiting to see what happens this coming year. Sadly, right now we have a lot more questions than we have answers. How will we see abortion access restricted? Will emergency contraception– Plan B– or birth control be impacted in the future? How will this impact IVF, childbirth rates, and mortality rates during pregnancy? Will the loud, few voices suggesting that folks who menstruate be tracked by the government actually succeed? And ultimately– how will reproductive health care services continue to move forward in the face of this extreme, hostile landscape? There’s a lot to continue to consider, and prepare for– and in the meantime, there’s also a lot of waiting.
Al Stone shares their thoughts on how serious all of the answers to these questions really are.
Al Stone:
I have a lot of concerns about reproductive rights. With the overturning of Roe v Wade two years ago, we're already seeing disastrous effects to that a lot of them being women who have pregnancies that are wanted, and they have a pregnancy complication and are turned away by their health professionals because the health professional is afraid that they're going to get disbarred due to interpretation of the law that is unacceptable, and it's really scary. Nevaeh Kane and others should be here with us still.
Laura Borichevsky:
The fight for reproductive rights is a long-standing one, and it’s become more contentious over time– partially because of the rise in extremist views couched in religion– and partially because access to abortions help to prop up the case for bodily autonomy as a whole. What gender affirming care looks like. Who you can marry.
And currently, all of that is feeling rather questionable– and to Britany’s word earlier: fragile. Especially depending on the simplest of things. Like what organs you have, who you love, and what state you live in.
Britany Greenwalt:
Now, do we plan to move? Yes, in the end, we don't want to be here. We already started to look into the things that we need to do in order to move to a state that feels more welcoming, one where we feel more at home, one where we feel more free to be exactly who we are. So there's just a lot of things swirling around in our heads. In here, two weeks later, I'm still in a little bit of shock that it happened.
Laura Borichevsky:
Brittany brings up the reality– and the challenges– associated with leaving your community and seeking another. Relocating to access basic services is not only ethically fraught– it’s also not practical. Aside from the obvious barriers of cost, logistics, and structural family considerations– there’s also the fact that many times the folks who end up utilizing basic services like abortions never planned on doing so, like in instances of rape or incest. And in states where there are already total abortion bans or extreme restrictions, exceptions for rape and incest do not offer reasonable access to these procedures because it requires a high burden of proof and the onus put on those assaulted to advocate for a stigmatized form of health care– when rape survivors themselves are already stigmatized and only 1 in 5 instances of sexual assaults are ever reported. Matt Howard, a volunteer victim advocate, shares his insights from this work and how reproductive rights play a critical role.
Matt Howard:
I’m a volunteer victim advocate for victims of sexual assault and domestic violence, and part of that is being on the hospital Response Team. And one of the very common things that we do for victims of sexual assault is we give them plan B, and they also get follow up calls with Planned Parenthood. I'm concerned about the project 2025, proposal to ban Plan B, and especially concerned about Planned Parenthood being defunded or actively persecuted because they provide so many resources for victims of sexual violence, follow up, care for sexually transmitted infections and physical care. The way that I am trying to cope with these worries is to just keep plugging away at the things I do, volunteering, trying to educate people about sexual assault, and especially working on a community level and local government level to make sure that these resources are still available to victims and, most importantly, free to them I've never seen even in my incredibly conservative community, anyone turned down Plan B when the alternative is the potential of having to raise a rapist's baby.
Laura Borichevsky:
In light of what Matt shared about Plan B, it feels important to note that there’s a notable increase in the conversation around not just long term contraceptives like IUDs, but also sterilization. In fact, if you or someone you know has been researching these procedures, you’re not alone. Far from it. The past 2 weeks have created the third-highest spike for the search term “female sterilization” in the US over the past 5 years. The other 2 times? When the Supreme Court opinion on Roe v Wade leaked, citing a likely overturned, and when it actually was. In short, this conversation is trending because many are highly considering or outright choosing not to have children in light of likely changes in our government. Emily Jean, wildfire and disaster management professional, speaks to that experience, and the grief associated with these choices becoming more limited.
Emily Jean:
I am a cis woman who has her whole life gone back and forth on whether or not she wants kids. I'm currently single, so I don't have a long term partner or anybody that I'm in discussion about having kids with, and I'm on birth control for both pregnancy prevention, but also health reasons as well. And I have a couple concerns since the election of Trump again, and especially with the news that he also will be in control of Congress, it feels right now like the very few systems of checks and balances that we have between the Supreme Court the agency heads, and then the House and the Senate and then the executive office are all aligned more right wing, and that feels really nerve wracking to me. And so the day that he was elected and the Senate flipped. I texted my family and I said, Well, that's it. You're not having grandkids. And that may have felt reactionary, maybe, but as I've thought about it a little bit more, I've watched some of my best friends who now have healthy, beautiful babies also suffer miscarried. Is I've also had friends get abortions younger in life, and I fundamentally am scared about the aspect of getting reliable, safe healthcare. Should I ever find myself pregnant? So I am feeling a lot of grief right now over the decision to, instead of make that internal decision with a partner making it because of political reasons, and that makes me really sad. Feels like my own choice has been sort of taken away in family planning due to kind of outside forces from the government, which is really hard.
Laura Borichevsky:
In addition to those who might be considering having children– again, or for the very first time– there’s also the obvious topic of parenthood, and this election’s impacts on the way parents think about their children’s futures. Brooke Murray, founder of Wild Kind, shares her thoughts.
Brooke Murray:
I'm a mother to two little boys and one little girl, and I've been feeling a lot of anxiety after the election. Like many parents, I've had concerns about what a second Trump administration will mean for our climate, our education and the stability of our economy. But really what worries me the most is knowing that my daughter will have less rights than her grandmother. I'm worried that she won't be able to receive the same health care that I've received as I actually need the intervention with two of my incomplete miscarriages to avoid sepsis. In both cases, my doctors told me that this was absolutely necessary for my health. I'm also worried that she won't have the same ability to realize her full potential that her brothers have. As we see women across the country losing their bodily autonomy, our daughters are literally saying that their abusers can hold the highest office of power in our country. Why would they speak up if something happened that's really scary. As a mother, aside from the alarming policies outlined in Project 2025 regarding reproductive health care and gender affirming care, I'm gravely disturbed to see how cruelty towards people who do not identify as straight or cisgender has become more and more emboldened. My husband and I fall into one of the most secure populations. We're white, we're straight, we're middle class, we know we won't be affected as many people will be during this administration, but we've actually already seen our nine year old be bullied by other nine year olds when he refused to chant Trump. What does this mean for people who are not cis, who are not straight and who are not white? That really scares me.
Laura Borichevsky:
And for children who don’t have values alignment with their parents around the importance of these election results, there’s a heaviness too. Here’s Al again.
Al Stone:
My parents voted for Trump, and I'm really angry, and I will probably not go home for Christmas this year, just because I just don't think it's something to celebrate, but I don't want to not engage with them. I do love them, and they love me, but part of me is like, how do you love me when I identify as a queer, disabled woman who is a sexual assault survivor and vote for Trump, how do you show your love for me in that scenario? I grew up Catholic. I grew up in a pretty conservative household, and I did not think abortion was okay until I got out of my bubble and learned through other experiences and friends and just going to college and whatever that abortion is most certainly Okay, and it is our fundamental human right as women to have choices over our own bodies, some lessons moving forward that I want to share with community are that we as women, as the collective, maybe not the choir that this podcast reaches, but to the white women that voted for Trump, we need to dispel the myth that there is a good versus bad abortion. For so long the right thinks that, oh, abortion is okay if it was rape, if it was incest, if it was a pregnancy complication, and we're seeing with these cases coming out of pretty red South states, that that's not the case. They're attacking IVF. They are attacking just our right to medical care. And my family dealt with a miscarriage pretty late term when I was a kid, and it was really heart wrenching experience. And so it's pretty baffling to me that my parents voted for Trump, and even having that personal experience that happened to them.
Laura Borichevsky:
I wanted to take a minute to say that whatever your family is looking like this year– you’re not alone. And whether you choose to be with relatives by blood, or the chosen family you’ve built– it’s all valid. Everyone’s situation is unique, and when family no longer feels safe, it’s okay to build something new.
And that family– we don’t need the government to weigh in on that, either. But initiatives shared by the incoming administration, in addition to objectives outlined in Project 2025, are threatening to the LGBTQ+ community. Brittany’s back to share some of her thoughts on what this time has been like for her and her partner.
Britany Greenwalt:
One of the other big things on our mind is what is going to happen with our plan to get married. Do we hurry and rush and get married now? Do we wait to see what's going to happen and do something there, like, if we get married now, does that put us on a list? You know, there's just all of these concerns and things that we didn't have when hoping to have our dream ceremony, you know, in the woods of the rainforest of Washington. Like, is that going to still be able to happen the way we want it to happen? Or are we going to revert to the days where we were having these weddings but we had no papers to show for it? Like, what do we need to do to protect each other? These are all things through our head now, like, do we need to make sure? We have to go make sure that all of our wills and power of attorney and everything is in order, in order to protect us and the family that we've built and that we hope to keep building and having those kind of worries is frightening.
Laura Borichevsky:
If at this point in the show, you're sitting here thinking this is a LOT— that's perfectly valid, and even in the face of so many unknowns, I think it's also valid to wonder where we go from here, and how do we show up when we're also so deeply frustrated with those around us. Char Harris, Senior Designer for Coalition Snow and certified snowboard instructor, weighs in on navigating feelings of anger in the face of continued oppression and hate, not just potentially for ourselves as individuals, but for our friends, family, neighbors, and our greater communities.
Char Harris:
I feel like my biggest emotion that I'm I'm working through is to quell the hatred that I feel and try not to throw back the hate and add to clearly what already exists in the world. And I'd say, of course, like extremely concerned about further impeding upon our rights to our bodily autonomy and being able to make choices for our own health and our own bodies without, at best, tons of red tape, and at worst, like completely inaccessible to people violence, I think is, is my biggest fear, and just being targeted by people who feel emboldened to continue physical and verbal violence and violent policies and and that's just Me, and just knowing that my community and my friends who are part of the LGBTQ plus community, and who are trans and who are marginalized in all these intersectional ways, I fear for them being the targets of people who feel emboldened to be violent, and I Think in terms of community, like all I can do is what I have personal control over, and so right now, I'm pretty at a loss as to like what I can do that would make a profound impact in a solidly blue state, but I'm going to continue watching and listening to People who are much smarter than me, and wait for that call to action to emerge that will be aligned with with what I bring to the world and my strengths, and be ready to take action for right now, I'm checking in on my people and just asking how I can support them. You know, my hope is that we're all overreacting, but I don't know. I don't know what to expect, and I know that this has been really hard for marginalized people, like prior to this, and I guess I'm not, I'm not shocked. I feel like I didn't really learn anything that we didn't already suspect was true. I think I'm just heartbroken by just how many people were inspired and motivated by hatred and cruelty and just like run of the mill meanness. I just feel like there are just people who are just who are mean and unkind. And I think that that makes me really, really, really sad.
Laura Borichevsky:
If you're feeling this way and wondering where to put all of this energy, you're not alone. Here's Brooke with some great questions to think on as we all continue to seek out next steps.
Brooke Murray:
Right now, I need to know what the most effective resources are to support they have all this anxious energy, and I just want to know how I can use it for good. What are the best local resources I can support, and what are the best ways to protect access to reproductive health care nationally. And right now, I'm really trying to learn how to exist in our community and our country, knowing that more than half of our neighbors do not value these same human rights the way that we do how do we continue to build a safe community for our children, and how do we let other children know that they're safe to grow into themselves and realize their full potential? How do we protect or build resources for them in our communities?
Laura Borichevsky:
One way to start getting involved and looking around involves small, consistent, local action. Cali Wolf, PACU nurse and Coordinating Director for Native Women’s Wilderness, shared a piece of advice on taking local action from over the summer that might ring true more now than ever.
Cali Wolf:
I just pulled up at my local library. I'm here for an event for my county and our democratic group to learn how to get involved in this year's campaign for our local candidates. And I just wanted to pop on here and remind you all that we do need to take our advocacy offline and do it in real life, in real time with real people. One great way to do that is by getting started locally. And I found a good way to do that and to stay informed about campaign events and etc, is through Facebook. So search for your county and see if they have, like a x county Democrat group or whatever political affiliation you are, and there's usually posts in there about upcoming events, and so that's how I found this specific event that I'm going to it is an open house style event where you can meet some of the local candidates, learn how to volunteer, learn how to Canvas and some other things. This is not my first rodeo with local politics, and it is something that I feel like is really rewarding, because you do see the results in real time, and these policies and candidates are impacting you and your real life on a smaller scale.
Laura Borichevsky:
I'll be honest, this was not the way that I planned on relaunching Sex Outside, but it felt like the most important conversation to have right now, and I’m hoping that some of these voices might have resonated a bit, even in the grief and the pain of it all. Because at the end of the day, that’s what community is all about. It stretches far beyond the good times. And that– plus regular action, self care, and spending some time outside– is going to be what we need to make it through whatever comes next.
Char Harris:
Thankfully, I have access to the outdoors, and snowboarding is always my go to and I have influence within my snowboarding community, and so I'll continue to stand up for people who may not feel safe to be confrontational, and I'll continue being confrontational when necessary to create a safe place within snow sports and the outdoors for those people, and certainly not tolerate any bullshit that people may say or think it's okay to Say in front of me or in front of others, so that's where I am, and just working really hard to manage all of those emotions in a productive way. And I'm sure we're all struggling to do that and not add to the despair and to the unproductiveness.
Emily Jean:
I am spending time outside in nature. I'm talking to friends and loved ones. I'm volunteering, both with my time and then donating money to things like abortion funds and also just reproductive orgs and Legal Aid orgs as well. And I am trying to remember that action is needed at all scales. So we'll need to think about how to impact change at federal and state scales, and we'll also need to have hyper local efforts and community care.
Brooke Murray:
The outdoor is a huge piece of my mental wellness right now. We've already skied four times since the election in the last week, and my dog has never had more neighborhood walks in a week. Feeling the cold air on my face has really helped me re center myself so I can show up as a mother. I also hope inviting others to build community with me outdoors will help foster hope for all of us. I think we should actually hold community hikes on Inauguration morning, and we should share coffee and snacks and just bond and build hope together we live in. Colorado. So there's lots of opportunities to get outside, and if you do live in Colorado, I would love to invite you to come ski with me at Winter Park Resort on International Women's Day. I really think right now that we need to lean on each other, we need to bolster each other up, and we need to learn how to think creatively together so we can do some effective problem solving.
Matt Howard:
As far as the outdoors are concerned, I really just depend on those as a way to unwind and decompress after some of these difficult calls, so that I am not internalizing the stress of watching someone suffer. But I don't want to use them as an escape, just as a way to recharge. I'm concerned, but I have been through this. I've watched what four years of the Trump administration look like, and I watch the organizations where I volunteer pivot and respond, and I have a lot of faith in their ability to do that again.
Laura Borichevsky:
I’m Laura Borichevsky. Thanks for joining us. And thank you to Britant Greenwalt, Julianna Mahoney, Al Stone, Matt Howard, Emily Jean, Brooke Murray, Char Harris, and Cali Wolf for your time, perspectives, and contributions for this episode.
If you want to support the show, make sure to follow us @sexoutside, subscribe to our newsletter, or hit me up directly @sexedwithlaura.
Music is by the Wild Wild, UTAH, and modl. We’ll see you back here in your podcast feed in just a few weeks. Until then-- stay fresh, stay dirty, stay safe.