A (Very Honest) Poem By Kula Cloth

with Kula Cloth founder Anastasia Allison

In this special bonus content, hear a custom-made poem written and read by Anastasia Allison, founder of Kula Cloth, all about the unexpected adventures that can take place when you decide to get intimate outdoors.  

We teamed up with Kula Cloth to produce a special edition Kula that you'll definitely want post sex (be it solo or partnered) featuring beautiful art from Natalie Weinberg. Head to Kula Cloth to see it for yourself, and stay tuned for a full episode featuring Anastasia Allison this Friday!

Lastly, this week marks the beginning of our platform re-launch here at Sex Outside, and we have some fun things planned as we re-introduce our new structure, format, and additional offerings. To get the inside scoop on everything, including promo codes to the fully updated Sex Outside shop, drop us your email. We'd love to keep in touch.

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Hosted by Laura Borichevsky.
Cover artwork by Hailey Hirst.
Music by UTAH and The Wild Wild licensed via MusicBed.

“SEX OUTSIDE” - BY ANASTASIA ALLISON

The wind gently touching the leaves

The birds singing their tune 

The sun on your skin 

And you’re in the mood 

It might start as a kiss 

A wink and a glance 

And next thing you know 

You’re ready to dance 

Hiking boots they must go 

Quick hurry get them off 

As you curse the sales clerk at REI

Who taught you that knot 

Your socks are a bit sweaty 

But hey that’s just life 

Who spends time outdoors 

And doesn’t have feet that smell ripe 

The hiking pants next 

Except they are stuck to your legs

From sweating all day 

As you hiked to a ledge 

A shirt gets flung here 

Maybe a sports bra or two

Finally skin is on skin 

Oh the things we can do 

In the movies it seems 

So peaceful and serene 

To lay back on the earth 

On a lush pillow of green 

But now you are finding 

As you lay down on the grass

You can’t be too sure 

What just crawled on your ass 

Let’s move away from the dirt

A stick just got stuck 

I just smooshed a mushroom

And an ant bit my butt 

We’ll try leaning on this rock

That seems like a good enough spot

Until you remember 

Rocks in the sun get quite hot 

Red cheeked and no progress

Let’s try this old log 

It’s covered In moss 

What could possibly go wrong 

A soft little moan 

You think, “this is really quite fun”

Until you reach around your partner

And grab hold of a slug 

Your foot slips in the mud 

You fall flat on your face 

Your skin starts to itch 

Mosquito bites all over the place 

I really want this to work 

I’ll calm down and just settle

Until you brush up against a plant

And gosh darn it’s a nettle 

Stinging and scratching 

Let’s just get into the tent 

Nature is cruel 

And it just won’t relent 

The tent feels like a sauna 

In the heat of the day 

But you’re both seriously committed

To this romp in the hay 

It’s going quite well 

You’re both into a groove 

Until you hear giggling outside

And see a shadow that moves 

Alas what is this? 

What now is ruining your glee?

But a dog off a leash 

And a family of three 

A cough and a sneeze 

You pretend to be sleeping 

But as the sweat drips off of your brow

Your insides are weeping 

Trying quickly to fan the spark

You give a lustful wink at your mate

Followed quickly by a pop 

As your sleeping pad deflates 

Exhausted and defeated 

You roll off the pad 

Hysterically laughing 

It’s impossible to be mad 

Dreams of wild romance 

Have been dashed at each turn

Sex outside is a little dirty 

That is what we’ve learned 

Don’t be afraid to try it  

Lakes are great for a bath 

Someday far in the future 

You’ll think back and laugh.  

But sometimes the things 

That don’t go as smoothly as we like

Are the moments we remember most

In this adventure called life

Laura BorichevskyHygiene3 Comments